How to establish boundaries
Finding the balance between time spent working and with family or for yourself can be a major challenge. We all want to be successful at work and in our personal lives but sometimes feel that to be successful at work we must always be available even after hours and on weekends. Establishing boundaries is one step towards finding more balance but what do I mean by boundaries? Simply stated, the decisions you make regarding how much and when you are willing to work and the strategies you use to support those decisions.
I think the most important tool to use in establishing boundaries is our calendar whether that be Google, Outlook, or another tool. Ensure that your calendar is updated for all work meetings and important deadlines. Include all personal items on your calendar too. If others have access to your calendar, you can mark personal items as private. If you have an assistant, ask that he or she ask your permission before scheduling another appointment over an existing appointment. Include late start times or early end times if you have responsibility for school drop off or pick up or to work out. Also, include the after-hours commitments of your partner as a reminder that you may have additional duties at home and can manage your calendar appropriately.
Having important deadlines on your calendar is also helpful in ensuring that your work and that of your team is getting done in time to meet those deadlines. Avoid fire drills that require working after normal business hours. However, sometimes that is necessary. Talk with your supervisor in advance about your availability in the event this happens. It is reasonable to ask that work after hours is accomplished after dinner with your family, bedtime with your children, or a class you are enrolled in.
Don’t jump at every opportunity to take on a new project or additional work duties. Consider what that new work will offer you in terms of new skills, knowledge, or access to more senior people in your organization. If it is beneficial, consider whether a direct report could assume some of your responsibilities as a growth experience, freeing up time for you to work on that new project. Similarly, talk with your supervisor about shifting some of your responsibilities to a peer who might need a new challenge. Don’t be afraid to say no to some opportunities.
Likewise, don’t be afraid to say no to things in your personal life. When my daughter was in Girl Scouts, the troop leader quit and, I got roped into being the new leader. Meetings were Thursday evenings and I traveled Monday through Thursday. I was always rushed and worried about plane delays and really could not commit the time it deserved. I should have said no.
Establishing boundaries to enjoy all aspects of your life is possible with planning, clear communication, and the courage to say no when needed.