Does your emotional intelligence impact your communication?
Emotional intelligence is “a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.”[1] Emotional intelligence (EI) as applied in the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i 2.0) reflects one’s overall well-being and ability to succeed in life. Emotional intelligence is measured through 5 scales and 15 sub-scales and the overall emotional intelligence score is derived from a 133-question self-assessment that compares the individual’s responses to those of a statistically valid group, “the norm.” In studying EI, I think certain sub-scales directly impact effective communication.
Lower self-regard or confidence can inhibit a person from participating in meetings for fear of not asking the right question, making a factual error, or “looking stupid.” The ability to recognize your strengths will allow you to feel more confident in speaking out in meetings or one-on-one.
Lower emotional self-awareness may mean you don’t recognize your feelings and therefore know how to modulate them when communicating. As a result, your message may not land the way that you intended making it difficult to make your point.
Since self-expression is the way emotions and communication are perceived by others, it can impact effective communication. If you are lower on emotional expression, you may not engage others as deeply or foster connection because you are not sharing how you are feeling. Assertiveness can impact effective communication in two ways. If you are low on assertiveness, you will not feel comfortable communicating your opinions or standing up for yourself or others. Those high on assertiveness could come across as arrogant or bullying as they firmly stand on their opinions and defend them in a way that does not foster cross-communication.
Someone high on interpersonal relationships has developed trusting relationships which aid in gaining support for what the person is communicating. A lower score on empathy will impact effective communication because the person does not “put themselves in the other person’s shoes.” They won’t modulate the words they use or the delivery of their message. If that same person who is low on empathy is high on assertiveness, then they will not understand and recognize how others feel and tend to not allow others to communicate their opinions and ideas.
Low impulse control can have a major impact on how and when a person communicates. The inability to control the urge to respond verbally or via email can cause communication that is a knee-jerk reaction that might come across as angry, annoyed, or blaming. In a meeting, low impulse control could show up as someone interrupting others.
Optimism has a direct impact on communication. Someone who is less optimistic can come across as a doomsayer and will not necessarily increase confidence through their communication. Someone optimistic will convey that optimism through words and actions and may transfer that optimism to others.
Intentionally working on your emotional intelligence can have a direct impact on your ability to communicate effectively allowing you to engage others in conversation and decision-making to further your goals and those of your company. If you want to learn more, book a discovery session via my website.
[1] Stein, PH.D., Steven J. and Book, M.D., Howard E., “The EQ Edge, Emotional Intelligence and Your Success,” Third Edition, Jossey-Bass, page 13.