How do I reframe failure as practice?
A Google search for failure will turn up the following definition: Failure is the lack of success or ability to meet an expectation. But is it really? I like to think of failure as practice. More than once, I have found myself thinking, “Well, that did not turn out as I hoped.” This feeling of failure may mean embarrassment, discouragement, and the desire to give up. The feelings are valid and not to be ignored but in facing them, accept that failure will happen and can lead to success in the future. Three suggested ways to turn failure into practice are changing mindset, approach, and confidence.
What if we just changed our mindset about what happened? In re-grouping, state what happened in a factual way without emotion. One of my clients did not fulfill the plan that she had put in place the previous session and as a result, felt defeated and incapable of achieving her overarching goals. She self-described this as a failure. When we talked it through, she identified the reason why she was not able to complete the plan and that the reason was not controllable to her. We reflected on the steps she was able to accomplish that week despite the obstacle she encountered. Again, sticking to facts and celebrating accomplishments. We also identified how she can approach the task in a different way that would keep it in her control and achieve her goals.
What if we changed our approach? Sometimes our lack of success or inability to achieve a goal is related to our approach. Another client of mine is a high achiever with the goal of transferring her success at work to her personal life. She described her past efforts to do this as failures. In talking this through, she discovered that the steps she was taking to meet her overall goal were really big steps. For example, her action plan would include working out at the gym a minimum of five days a week for two hours. Not being able to maintain her action plan she gave up. So, we talked about her approach, and she modified the steps of her action plan so that they could be maintained and lead her to her overall goal.
What if we approached our action plan with more confidence? Sometimes it is a lack of belief in ourselves that keeps us from achieving our goals. Looking back on past successes, think about what you did that led to that success. Did you enlist others to assist and support you? Did you approach the task with a cheerful outlook? Incorporate these experiences into your current practice knowing that you are a person who is successful.
Achieving goals is an iterative process. We will not always get it right the first time. The process of changing our mindset, approach, or confidence in our ability is a practice that will lead to the achievement of our goals.