Why do I need a life coach? Validation
Hiring a life coach is a financial and time investment. In the financial world, we look at the return on investment. Will the benefit I receive from a life coach exceed the amount I pay for the services? Will the time I spend with my life coach be valuable or could I spend my time doing something else? The answer to these questions is a definitive yes and there are four reasons why a life coach is a good investment in money and time. The first is validation.
When you go about setting goals, there is generally something that you want to change either about yourself, where you are headed, or where you want to be in the future. You might be unhappy with your current situation and desire a change. For example, perhaps you have a job that allows you flexibility and pays well but is not fulfilling. In discussion with your spouse, he or she may say, “Why are you unhappy, the job pays well and allows you to be with the kids?” In another example, perhaps you may be out of shape after having three children. In discussion, with your mother, she says, “You are beautiful exactly as you are.”
What is missing in these two examples is the validation of your thoughts and feelings. Validation is the “recognition of affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid and worthwhile” (Dictionary.com). Without this validation, you might question whether or not a change is needed, and it might be very difficult to set goals and activities.
A life coach has been trained to validate a client’s thoughts and feelings and has the benefit of not having a close personal relationship with the client. So how would a life coach validate the client in the examples above?
In the case of the unfulfilling job, a life coach will first say, “Okay, you find your current job unfulfilling” and then will likely ask questions such as, “What do you mean by unfulfilling?” “How does that make you feel?” and “Why is it important that your job be fulfilling?”
In the second example, the life coach will again validate your feeling of being unhappy with how you look. Follow-up questions might be, “How do you see yourself?” and “What about how you look do you want to change?”
These types of questions will cause you to dig deeper and define why you want to change which provides a foundation for goal setting. In the first example, unfulfilling may mean that you are not learning anything new in your current job or you don’t feel connected to your employer’s mission. In the second example, being out of shape may mean I am not physically fit, or I am overweight. Goals will be different based on the answer.
Understanding the underlying reasons why you want to change first requires validation of your thoughts and feelings. A life coach is in a special situation to help her client come to that understanding to set goals and actions.