Managing the chaos of life
The term “work-life balance” has existed for as long as I can remember. Many of us are balancing demanding careers, relationships, and caregiving. The advent of technology has also made it more difficult to achieve a balance between work and our personal lives. Technology, which allows us to be connected all the time, has resulted in us being tied to our jobs. Email has turned into a menace as it is easy to access via our mobile phones. In addition, having a mobile phone means that you can be reached anytime and anywhere. Our work can be consuming, not allowing us to have productive, happy personal lives. It can be very difficult to not allow work to take over your life. So, what can we do to manage the chaos of our lives?
First, set goals in your personal life. Without having personal goals, your attention might shift from thing to thing, you will feel busy but not successful and life will become chaotic. Setting goals in your personal life may lead to a laundry list of things you want to accomplish. Prioritize this list with deliberation and thoughtfully so that you aren’t pulled in multiple directions trying to accomplish all your goals. You will quickly realize you can’t do everything and have everything. So, be willing to sacrifice and delay a personal goal because other things need to come first. But don’t lose heart, you can come back to that goal in the future.
Second, stop obsessing about work. When obsessing about work, we become distracted and preoccupied, not allowing ourselves to be fully present with family and friends. We also don’t allow time for other thoughts or activities which becomes a vicious cycle. In confronting this problem, “break the cycle” by tracking how much time you are spending thinking about work. To stop the habit, engage your mind in something else when you begin thinking about work such as a memory task like naming all 50 states.[1] As an alternative, mentally list the items you need at the grocery store or the first and last names of your childhood friends. The idea is to identify you are thinking about work and distract your mind from something else.
Finally, reduce the number of hours you work. This might be achieved by increasing your productivity. If your urge to work over the weekend is caused by thinking of the upcoming week, you can reduce this urge by spending part of your day on Friday planning for the upcoming week. It is also helpful to go through your email inbox on Friday afternoons to make sure you don’t have any important unanswered emails or information requests that need attention. Consider if there are tasks that can be delegated. If you have maximized your productivity, you may need to have a conversation with your supervisor to restructure your job to work fewer hours or apply for another job in your organization that is less demanding.
To get motivated for change, stop and think about your life 50 years in the future. What are the memories that will be most important to you? Will you have made the time to create those memories? Will you have any misgivings? If you would like help thinking through the questions and making change in your life, book a free session through my website.
[1] Feintzeig, Rachel. “Stop Obsessing About Work All the Time.” Wall Street Journal, October 8, 2023.