What do you tell yourself?
I was listening to the November 11th Mel Robbins podcast “3 Truths You Need to Hear: The Best Expert Advice to Unlock Your Potential” (it is worth a listen), and she spoke about how what we tell ourselves determines our future. There is so much truth in this. As explained by Mel, if you tell yourself something day after day, what you say is what you will become. Think about how limiting this is. What do you not do or achieve as a result of what you say to yourself?
Telling yourself a lie - Throughout my schooling, I was always in the “highest” math class and was a high B student. I liked the logic of math and the process of solving a problem. I was surrounded by really smart kids and many of them became engineers. In comparison to them, I fell short in math. I told myself that I was not good at math and as a result did not consider a career in engineering. Now, maybe even after consideration, I would not have pursued this line of study, but I never even tried because I shut a door on that potential opportunity.
Proving that the lie is not true – Fast forward to two classes I took for my MBA. One was calculus and the other was a math-based finance class. Instead of thinking, “I am not good at math” I told myself, “I am going to be successful in these classes by being good at math.” I specifically remember in the finance class having a goal of finishing the math problems before the professor finished them on the chalkboard. Yes, I am a nerd. I got an A in both classes.
Putting it into practice – Think first about the one thing you have wanted to do or become that has been elusive. Then ask yourself, “What have I been saying about this one thing?” By changing what you are saying, you will be able to do or be what you imagined, with hard work. Maybe you are in a job that you do not enjoy and is not satisfying, but you are saying to yourself, “I can’t switch jobs because I don’t know how to do anything else.” What if instead, you said, “I have many skills that are transferable to another job.” That changes everything! Now you can make an inventory of those skills and match them to potential new jobs.
If your child, partner, or friend were telling themselves things that limited their opportunities, you would not stand by and be silent. You would tell them otherwise. Why treat yourself any differently? As a life coach, I am in a good position to help you change the words you speak to yourself. Do you need help? Book a free session through my website.